thebiggestnerd:

So, real talk for a second guys

If you ever accidentally call 911, DON’T HANG UP.  Stay on the line and tell the calltaker that you accidentally dialed.  When you hang up, we either have to call you back or send out police which takes up valuable resources and wastes money.  A simple “It was an accident” is all we need and everyone goes about their life much better

(via bullied)

operameister:

thisismythanksgivingurl-gobble:

agentgreenfishy:

poselikeateam:

fuck-i-just:

Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: “Jim’s whore house. You got the dough, we got the hoe.”

Why does this not have any notes?

lol no “Nashville sperm bank, you squeeze it we freeze it. how may I help you?”

“Henderson’s Morgue, you stab em, we slab em, this is Eight Ball speaking.”

“Texas crematorium you kill ‘em we grill ‘em how can I direct your call?”

(via illuminating-happiness)

thisturtleisneon:

hernameisspooky:

ACTING

THE MORE TIMES I WATCH IT THE FUNNIER IT IS

thisturtleisneon:

hernameisspooky:

ACTING

THE MORE TIMES I WATCH IT THE FUNNIER IT IS

(via adnarim17)

relahvant:

spmib:

stop-hodoring:

Top Gear in India 

How can you not like top gear?

I watched this the other week and was in literal tears

this show literally makes my life

(via adnarim17)

nickelbackthatassup:

when I was six I threw a tantrum because I wanted a slushie from 711 and I remember my dad said “I will never buy you a slushie” AND LITERALLY RIGHT NOW HE CAME IN THE CAR WITH A SLUSHIE AND I WAS LIKE WHY DIDNT YOU GET ME ONE AND HE LOOKED ME DEAD IN THE EYE AND SAID “REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE SIX”

(via illuminating-happiness)

joshpeck:

literallyrad:

IT’S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN

image

take this picture down immediately

(via adnarim17)

heliolisk:

heliolisk:

heliolisk:

pretty crazy how kevin jonas and I have the same name and look exactly alike

like dont I look exactly like him? its almost like someone just copied and pasted his face over mine right?
image

there is really no need to unfollow just because I look like Kevin Jonas
I am just as capable as the other jonas brothers

(via adnarim17)

ribbu:

there’s a special place in hell reserved just for me

it’s called the throne

(via illuminating-happiness)

yourneighborhoodcannibal:

mishasminions:

I SWEAR I LAUGH AT THIS EVERY TWO SECONDS

This is my favorite post of all time.

(via adnarim17)